Loneliness can bring about all sorts of thoughts, emotions, and actions. To not have someone to share your life with, talk with, or have a family with can lead to sadness and depression causing some to make unhealthy, ungodly choices. Even God said in Genesis 2:28, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” Therefore, God created woman to be a helpmate for men. Then sin entered the world and ushered in a plethora of perversities, including fornication. If it was not good for man to be alone in a perfect garden, then it is not good for him to be alone in a sinful world where fornication is rampant. Thankfully, Paul gave instruction on how to prevent falling into this sin. He said, “to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife” (1 Corinthians 7:2). However, there are those who either must wait an unknown period of time for marriage or be like Paul having the gift of singleness. Even as Christians, singleness is not easy, and we are not immune from sin. We must be vigilant and sober because our “adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8). There is no more horrible way for him to devour us than through sexual sin because not only does it causes us to sin against ourselves and others, but also against God.

For those who are single, affection and interpersonal relationships are two things that are strongly desired. To see others experience the joy of these things does not always cause single people to rejoice. Instead, it can cause some to seek a substitute for relationships from one of the most unexpected places, porn. According to an article written by Colin Hesse and Kory Floyd about their study of “Affection substitution: The effect of pornography consumption on close relationships,” everyone has their own required level of affection that must be met, and when there is a deficit, people will look for something to meet that need, a substitute. The substitute, they hypothesized and tested, was porn.^[1] They further hypothesized porn allowed the partaker to simulate human connection through fantasy which rewards them with dopamine.^[2]

Dopamine is the pleasure chemical released in our brains as a reward for committing a pleasurable act, and sex is no exception whether it be with someone else or by oneself while watching porn. The study found, and supported the argument, “when people feel deficient in the amount of affection they receive, they are more likely to consume pornography for the specific purposes of reducing their loneliness.”^[3] This paired with the reward of dopamine each time enables a person’s brain to trick them into thinking porn can be a suitable substitute for affection. 

Porn does not only cause one to sin against their own body but causes sin against others. By providing a demand for sexual gratification, a person is making those who are in the porn industry into sexual slaves by demanding they use their bodies in sexual acts to provide a visual aid for personal, selfish gratification. But when porn is no longer enough, this can escalate into seeking prostitutes, one-night stands, or seeking another individual with whom they can have a casual, impersonal sexual relationship just to feel a resemblance of actual human connection. But if not careful, this could lead to possible catching an STD causing an even greater sin against the body and other persons due to the ability to pass the STD to them. 

It is one thing for an unsaved person to commit these sins, but it is a completely different thing for a Christian to fall into this type of sin. As Christians we know our bodies are not meant for worldly, lustful pleasure. It is for the Lord who by his blood bought both our body and our soul. Therefore, we are indwelled with the Spirit of God and our bodies are temples which are not to be defiled with sexual sin. Because of this, we are one in Christ and in the body of Christ. He dwells in us, and when we commit fornication of any type, we are essentially joining Christ to a harlot because, as John MacArthur points out in his study bible along with the Bible in 1 Corinthians 6:15-17, “all sexual sin is harlotry.” Because through sex we become one with the person participating and being indwelled with the Holy Spirit making us one with Christ, we join Christ to a harlot when we commit sexual sin as a Christian. This is a grievous sin against Christ who was “made a curse for us” (Galatians 3:13) and whose blood was shed to redeem us from sin (Hebrews 9:12-14).

This is why Paul warned us to “Flee fornication” (1 Corinthians 6:18) and “let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body. . . neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin” (Romans 6:12-13). Paul further tells those who are single to seek out marriage, especially men. The author of Hebrews tells us in 13:4 that “marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled” meaning marriage is a good thing where a man and a woman can have a sexual relationship with one another without it being sinful. To seek anything outside of this would defile the marriage bed and would be heavily judged by God. Those who are Christ’s will be judged according to their deeds, but those who are not Christ’s will be judged and found lacking due to their refusal to believe that Christ is LORD. The one who shed his innocent blood to redeem them from the world and its temporal pleasures, including fornication. The one that whosoever shall believeth in him shall have eternal life. 

^[1] Colin Hesse and Kory Floyd, “Affection substitute: The effect of pornography consumption on close relationships,” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 36, no. 11-12 (2019): 3888-3889, https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407519841719.

^[2] Colin Hesse and Kory Floyd, “Affection substitute: The effect of pornography consumption on close relationships,” 3888.

^[3] Colin Hesse and Kory Floyd, “Affection substitute: The effect of pornography consumption on close relationships,” 3900.